“Men, women, and the division of the negotiation pie”

🌟 Leigh Thompson writes in The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator (published in Persian as 53 Principles of Negotiation): What is the difference between men and women when negotiating? You might feel, as I did, that this question could lead to biased answers — but I want to share the results of a scientific study on this topic.

🌟 When men and women negotiate face‑to‑face, men tend to claim a larger share of the negotiation pie. The reason for this difference lies in their initial demands, not in their negotiation skills.

🌟 More precisely, the root of the difference is in the opening offers: women typically do not ask for as much as men do.

🌟 This behavioral gap persists even when men and women are placed in identical roles. For example, Professor Linda Babcock noticed this pattern and published a book titled Women Don’t Ask.

🌟 In this book, she presents new perspectives on gender differences in negotiation and provides extensive evidence — especially regarding men’s tendency to ask for more and women’s tendency to settle for less.

🌟 Babcock argues that the positive, stereotypical image we hold of women — as kind, agreeable, and easy to manage — can actually harm them in negotiations. These common perceptions lead women to request a smaller share of the negotiation pie.

🌟 She continues: we must change this situation and help women increase their share of the negotiation pie.

🌟 She refers to Professor Howard Raiffa’s book The Art and Science of Negotiation, noting that some of the 38 traits of an effective negotiator — such as assertiveness, decisiveness, and competitiveness — align more with stereotypically masculine behavior, while others — such as empathy and nonverbal communication — align more with stereotypically feminine behavior.

🌟 Recognizing that women excel in many traits of a skilled negotiator, Babcock concludes: when women become aware of this reality, they perform far better and become much stronger negotiators.

🌟 She ends by saying: the issue is not that men exploit women or take more advantages; rather, as Louis Pasteur said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” If women enter negotiations with a prepared mind, their chances of success increase.

This post is also available in: Persian